Sooner or later our relationships turns into pain and suffering when one neglects the other, we will get wounded psychologically and carry on with that hurt, there are innumerable hurts like this, we are never staying with that hurt to learn something out of it, so that we will never get hurt for the rest of life. At the time of hurt if I tell myself next time I must be careful, this should not repeat...etc, I am slowly isolating myself building walls around myself by thinking that, this isolation protects me from psychological hurt. This isolation brings its own loneliness and pain. Thinking is a very complex affair when I can't understand my own thinking, how can I guide the others but in expectation I am doing the same. The fact is when you understand nature of thought which is cunning and divisive, you don't chase it, you don't put race with it.
When I say someone is a good friend to me, inwardly I am comfortable with his presence and he is also feeling the same, otherwise we are not good friends.
That means it's like business, I will be gentle, kind, pleasant to you and you do the same to me. When I am constantly expecting something from you or demanding from you, there is no love between you and me, as love means no expectation in return. Love knows no suffering any pain, and you can come to it
only through negating what is not love.
We are never realizing the simple fact that other is also human being and he/she is also living with expectations. I can do something good or bad to him which is completely in my hand, at the same time I don't have control at any level what he/she returns for that to me. In expectation I desire for something which is completely not in my hand.
The fragrance of a flower is always there weather you smell it or not, it never expects anything from you as it is rich in itself.
http://www.jkrishnamurti.org/
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